The Moth’s Mistake

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This is about the deceptive nature of comfort. We are all searching for happiness and we often seek it through forms of comfort. Off course for each of us comfort looks different. For some it is found in food,  alcohol or intimacy, for others it is found in work, shopping or entertainment and when we reach for these remedies there is often instant relief but pleasure is fleeting and the lure of comfort can deceive us.

Consider  the way Moths tend to fly towards a flame. To the moth the flame represents the captivating sensation of light so they fly to the flickering glow. But this is clearly not a good choice. The moth seeks comfort but the flame actually causes suffering. And this is what we do. We are pulled towards what appears comforting but it is in fact harmful. We go an a alcohol binge and it feels enjoyable at first but the next day we pay the price. When we are angry at someone we begin to yell at them.  This too might feel good momentarily but it creates a wider rift and deeper hurt.

So it is up to us to use the skills of mindfulness and pay attention to how we respond to this comfort or agitation. We must ask ourselves what do we reach for as comfort and then notice, does our habit actually brings us comfort?  And if so, for how long?  Does that comfort comes at a price of long term suffering?

As Jeff Olson said “your habits operate at the unconscious level. You are not normally aware of them. It’s only by bringing habit into your conscious awareness that you can observe what it is doing. How it empowers and serves you or doesn’t”.

Ultimately we want to bring awareness to the impulses and urges that accompany unease and discomfort. so rather than unconsciously reaching for that old comfort or vice, we can consciously choose actions that serve our deeper happiness and well being.

 

Manual for Climbing Mountains

 

A] Choose the mountain you want to climb: don’t pay attention to what other people say, such as “that one’s more beautiful” or “this one’s easier”. You’ll be spending lots of energy and enthusiasm to reach your objective, so you’re the only one responsible and you should be sure of what you’re doing.

B] Know how to get close to it: mountains are often seen from far off – beautiful, interesting, full of challenges. But what happens when we try to draw closer? Roads run all around them, flowers grow between you and your objective, what seemed so clear on the map is tough in real life. So try all the paths and all the tracks until eventually one day you’re standing in front of the top that you yearn to reach.

C] Learn from someone who has already been up there: no matter how unique you feel, there is always someone who has had the same dream before you and ended up leaving marks that can make your journey easier; places to hang the rope, trails, broken branches to make the walking easier. The climb is yours, so is the responsibility, but don’t forget that the experience of others can help a lot.

D] When seen up close, dangers are controllable: when you begin to climb the mountain of your dreams, pay attention to the surroundings. There are cliffs, of course. There are almost imperceptible cracks in the mountain rock. There are stones so polished by storms that they have become as slippery as ice. But if you know where you are placing each footstep, you will notice the traps and how to get around them.

E] The landscape changes, so enjoy it: of course, you have to have an objective in mind – to reach the top. But as you are going up, more things can be seen, and it’s no bother to stop now and again and enjoy the panorama around you. At every meter conquered, you can see a little further, so use this to discover things that you still had not noticed.

F] Respect your body: you can only climb a mountain if you give your body the attention it deserves. You have all the time that life grants you, as long as you walk without demanding what can’t be granted. If you go too fast you will grow tired and give up half way there. If you go too slow, night will fall and you will be lost. Enjoy the scenery, take delight in the cool spring water and the fruit that nature generously offers you, but keep on walking.

G] Respect your soul: don’t keep repeating “I’m going to make it”. Your soul already knows that, what it needs is to use the long journey to be able to grow, stretch along the horizon, touch the sky. An obsession does not help you at all to reach your objective, and even ends up taking the pleasure out of the climb. But pay attention: also, don’t keep saying “it’s harder than I thought”, because that will make you lose your inner strength.

H] Be prepared to climb one kilometer more: the way up to the top of the mountain is always longer than you think. Don’t fool yourself, the moment will arrive when what seemed so near is still very far. But since you were prepared to go beyond, this is not really a problem.

I] Be happy when you reach the top: cry, clap your hands, shout to the four winds that you did it, let the wind – the wind is always blowing up there – purify your mind, refresh your tired and sweaty feet, open your eyes, clean the dust from your heart. It feels so good, what was just a dream before, a distant vision, is now part of your life, you did it!

J] Make a promise: now that you have discovered a force that you were not even aware of, tell yourself that from now on you will use this force for the rest of your days. Preferably, also promise to discover another mountain, and set off on another adventure.

K ] Tell your story: yes, tell your story! Give your example. Tell everyone that it’s possible, and other people will then have the courage to face their own mountains.

IN “LIKE A FLOWING RIVER” (EBOOK) by Paulo Coelho

 

Key to Happiness

“ I am rich, fit, and I have mastered almost everything I wanted to master. Why am I still not happy and still not satisfied?” – posted in Quora by Anonymous

Answer by Karim Elsheikh:

“Human happiness (as we know it) is caused by 4 basic chemicals:

Dopamine
Endorphins
Serotonin
Oxytocin

# On your journey to become fit, your body released endorphins to cope with the pain of physical exercise. You probably began to enjoy exercise as you got into it, and the endorphins made you happy – temporarily.

# On your journey to become rich, you probably completed many tasks and goals. You probably bought all the things you’ve ever wanted. Nice cars, beautiful clothes, and a perfect home. This released dopamine in your brain when you achieved your goals and bought these things, which once again contributed to your happiness – temporarily.

So what about the other two chemicals?

It turns out that human happiness is incomplete without all 4 chemicals constantly being released in the brain.

So now you need to work on releasing serotonin and oxytocin.

“How do I do that, Buddy?”

# Serotonin is released when we act in a way that benefits others. When we give to causes beyond ourselves and our own benefit. When we connect with people on a deep, human level. Writing this Quora answer is releasing serotonin in my brain right now because I’m using my precious time on the weekend to give back to others for free. Hopefully I’m providing useful information that can help other people, like yourself.

That’s why you often see billionaires turning to charity when they have already bought everything they wanted to, and experienced everything they wanted to in life. They’ve had enough dopamine from material pleasures, now they need the serotonin.

# Oxytocin on the other hand, is released when we become close to another human being. When we hug a friend, or shake someone’s hand, oxytocin is released in varying amounts.

Oxytocin is easy to release. It’s all about becoming more social!

Share your wealth with your friends and family to create amazing experiences.

Laugh, love, cooperate, and play with others.
That’s it my friend!

I think it all comes down to the likelihood that you are missing two things: contribution and social connection”

 

Joy of Living

I was jogging this morning and I noticed a person about half a km ahead. I could guess he was running a little slower than me and I felt good, I said to myself I will try catch up with him.

I had about a km before I needed to turn off. So I started running faster and faster. Every block, I was gaining on him just a little bit. After just a few minutes I was only about 100 feet behind him, so I really picked up the pace and pushed myself. I was determined to catch up with him.

Finally, I did it! I caught up and passed him. Inwardly I felt very good. “I beat him”.

Of course, he didn’t even know we were racing.

After I passed him, I realized I had been so focused on competing against him that I had missed my turn to my house,. I had missed the focus on my inner peace, I missed to see the beauty of greenery around, I missed to do my inner Namasarmarna, and in the needless hurry stumbled and slipped twice or thrice and might have hit the footpath and broken a limb.

It then dawned on me, isn’t that what happens in life when we focus on competing with co-workers, neighbours, friends, family, trying to outdo them or trying to prove that we are more successful or more important and in the bargain we miss on our happiness within our own surroundings?

We spend our time and energy running after them and we miss out on our own paths to our given destination. The problem with unhealthy competition is that it’s a never ending cycle.

There will always be somebody ahead of you, someone with a better job, nicer car, more money in the bank, more education, a prettier wife, a more handsome husband, better behaved children, better circumstances and better conditions etc.

But one important realisation is that ‘You can be the best that you can be, when you are not competing with anyone.’

Some people are insecure because they pay too much attention to what others are, where others are going, wearing and driving. Take whatever you have, the height, weight and personality. Accept it and realize, that you are blessed. Stay focused and live a healthy life. There is no competition in Destiny. Each has his own.

Comparison AND Competition is the thief of JOY. It kills the Joy of Living your Own Life.

Run your own Race that leads to Peace.

 

Friends

I never sat on a sofa with my father & after my marriage, I had already left him…….
“Many years ago, after I got married I was sitting on a couch on a hot, humid day, sipping frozen juice during a visit to my father.

As I talked about adult life, marriage, responsibilities, and obligations, my father thoughtfully stirred the ice cubes in his glass and cast a clear, sober look at me.

“Never forget your friends,” he advised, “they will become more important as you get older.”

“Regardless of how much you love your family and the children you happen to have, you will always need friends.

Remember to go out with them occasionally, do activities with them, call them …”

“What strange advice!” I thought. “I just entered the married world, I am an adult and surely my wife and the family that we will start will be everything I need to make sense of my life.”

Yet I obeyed him; kept in touch with my friends and annually increased their number. Over the years, I became aware that my father knew what he was talking about!

In as much as time and nature carry out their designs and mysteries on a man, friends are the bulwarks of his life.

After 50 years of life, here is what I learned:

Time passes.
Life goes on.
The distances increase
Children grow up & and become independent and although it breaks the parents’ heart but they are often separated from them.

Jobs come and go.

Illusions, desires, attractions, sex … weaken.

People do what they should not do.

The parents die.

Colleagues forget the favors.

The races are over.

But, true friends are always there, no matter how long or how many miles they are.

A friend is never more distant than the reach of a need, reaching out to you intervening in your favor, waiting for you with open arms or with blessings for your life.

When we started this adventure called LIFE, we did not know of the incredible joys or sorrows that were ahead.

We did not know how much we would need from one another.
Love your parents, take care of your children, but keep a group of good friends

Dedicated to all Friends.

Author : Unknown

Source: Online Magazine

25 Principles of Adult Behavior

Be patient, No matter what. Don’t badmouth: Assign responsibility, never blame. Say nothing behind another’s back you’d be unwilling to say, in exactly the same tone and language, to his face. Never assume the motives of others are, to them, less noble than yours are to you. Expand your sense of the possible. Don’t trouble yourself with matters you truly cannot change. Expect no more of anyone than you yourself can deliver. Tolerate ambiguity. Laugh at yourself frequently. Concern yourself with what is right rather than who is right. Never forget that, no matter how certain, you might be wrong. Give up blood sports. Remember that your life belongs to others as well. Do not endanger it frivolously. And never endanger the life of another. Never lie to anyone for any reason. (Lies of omission are sometimes exempt.) Learn the needs of those around you and respect them. Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that. Reduce your use of the first personal pronoun. Praise at least as often as you disparage. Never let your errors pass without admission. Become less suspicious of joy. Understand humility. Forgive. Foster dignity. Live memorably. Love yourself. Endure.

–  By John Perry Barlow , 1977

Yogic Diet

 

Yogic diet is a balanced, vegetarian diet that fulfills all the nutritional needs for mind-body balance. Eating the right food, in the right quantity, with the right attitude and at the right time are the tenets of a yogic diet. The ancient yogis classified food into Sattvic, Rajasic and Tamasic based on the three gunas or attributes present in every individual. viz., Sattva (purity), Rajas (activity), Tamas (inertia). These gunas exist in different degrees in every individual and change from time to time.

Sattvic diet is freshly cooked, clean vegetarian food, organic, that is grown in harmony with
nature and is cooked with love. Seekers of wisdom take this diet.

Bhagavad gita (17 : 8) describes Sattvic food as “promoting life, virtue, strength, health,
happiness and satisfaction.”

Sattvic foods are balanced combination of whole grains, legumes, pulses, fresh fruits and
vegetables, except onions, garlic and mushrooms. They include dry fruits, milk and milk products, natural sugars like jaggery and honey. Spices include coriander, cumin, fennel, fenugreek, black pepper, sesame, carom seeds, pomegranate seeds, ginger, holy basil, mint, cardamom, cinnamon and turmeric. Plant based oils include sesame, sunflower, olive and coconut.

Rajasic diet is over stimulating and destroy the mind-body balance. These foods cause restlessness to the mind, arouse negative emotions and lead to circulatory and nervous disorders. Sattvic foods when eaten in a hurry or with a negative attitude become Rajasic.

Bhagavat gita (17: 9) describes Rajasic food as “excessively hot, spicy, bitter, salty, pungent,
burning the tongue.”

Rajasic foods are stimulants such as coffee, tea, colas, chocolates, tobacco, onion and garlic.
They include hot-spicy, sour, fried, refined food and food with added salt and chillies.

Tamasic diet causes heaviness, dullness, lethargy and destroy body’s ability to withstand stress,
lower the resistance to disease. They do not have ‘prana’ for mind-body balance. Sattvic food when burnt, or over-eaten or reheated several times becomes Tamasic. Honey when cooked, becomes tamasic. Overripe and rotten fruits are tamasic.

Bhagavat gita (17:10) describes Tamasic food as “stale, rotten, tasteless, impure, unripe and
overcooked.”

Tamasic foods are meat, fish, chicken, eggs, mushrooms, onion, garlic, vinegar, drugs, alcohol
old, stale, burnt and overcooked food.

 

Celebrate Life !!

 

What an elevating speech!
By Sri Sri Ravi Shankar..

“A plum once said, ‘just because a banana lover came by, I converted myself into a banana. Unfortunately, his taste changed after a few months and so I became an orange. When he said I was bitter I became an apple, but he went in search of grapes. Yielding to the opinions of so many people, I have changed so many times that I no more know who I am. How I wish I had remained a plum and waited for a plum lover.’

Just because a group of people do not accept you as you are, there is no necessity for you to strip yourself of your originality. You need to think good of yourself, for the world takes you at your own estimate. Never stoop down in order to gain recognition. Never let go of your true self to win a relationship. In the long run, you will regret that you traded your greatest Glory – your uniqueness, for momentary validation. Even Gandhi was not accepted by many people. The group that does not accept you as YOU is not Your world.

There is a world for each one of you, where you shall reign as king /queen by just being yourself. Find that world… In fact, that world will find You.

What water can do, gasoline cannot and what copper can, gold cannot. The fragility of the ant enables it to move and the rigidity of the tree enables it to stay rooted. Everything and everybody has been designed with a Proportion of uniqueness to serve a purpose that we can fulfill only by being our unique self. You as you alone can serve your purpose and I as I alone can serve my purpose. You are here to be you… Just YOU.

There was a time in this world when a Krishna was required and He was sent; A time when a Christ was required and He was sent; a time when a Mahatma was required and he was sent; There came a time when you were required on this planet and hence you were sent. Let us be the best we can be.

In the history of the universe, there has been nobody like you and to the infinity of time to come, there will be no one like you. Existence should have loved you so much that it broke the mould after making you, so that another of your kind will never get repeated.

You are original. You are rare. You are unique. You are a wonder. You are a masterpiece. .. Your Master’s piece.

Celebrate your Uniqueness!’

Celebrate Life 😊

 

Welcome 2018 !!!! – Who is packing your parachute?

 

Air Commodore Vishal was a Jet Pilot. In a combat mission his fighter plane was destroyed by a missile. He however ejected himself and parachuted safely. He won acclaims and appreciations from many.

After five years one day he was sitting with his wife in a restaurant. A man from another table came to him and said “You’re Captain Vishal ! You flew jet fighters. You were shot down!”

“How in the world did you know that?” asked Vishal.

“I packed your parachute,” the man smiled and replied.
Vishal gasped in surprise and gratitude and thought if parachute hadn’t worked, I wouldn’t be here today.

Vishal couldn’t sleep that night, thinking about that man. He wondered how many times I might have seen him and not even said ‘Good morning, how are you?’ or anything because, he was a fighter pilot and that person was just a safety worker”

So friends, who is packing your parachute?
Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day.

We need many kinds of parachutes– we need the physical parachute, the mental parachute, the emotional parachute, and the spiritual parachute. We call on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important.

We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason.

As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize the people who pack your parachute.

I just want to thank everyone who packed my parachute this year one way or the other- through your words, deeds, prayers etc!! Don’t want to take any of you for granted .
From the bottom of my heart with all my love

Wishing you a memorable end to 2017 and an awesome beginning to 2018

 

Adarsh Halan

Editor

DropsOfTime.com

Be Present !!!

 

Few months ago I asked these two questions to all kids attending a gathering

Few things you want your parents to stop doing and….
Few things you want your parents to start doing

I got some interesting responses

Things I want my parents to stop doing:

—Stop comparing my life with your childhood. Things were really different back then, so stop comparing.

—Stop using these words and phrases: use your brain, are you deaf? Can’t you see? Useless, careless, good for nothing….etc….

—stop showing off my skills. I don’t want to dance in front of your friends. I don’t like to do that. Why do you force me to sing/ dance or show my art work to our relatives or friends?

—Can you speak softly? I’m tired to hear you shout, every day, every single moment.

 

Things I want my parents to start doing:

—Smile, please… I don’t remember when was the last time my mom smiled. She usually carries a frown on her face. That look irritates me.

—Appreciate. I know I’m not good at all things, but many things only I can do, no one else can. So a little bit appreciation is good na….

—Hug me, I see how my mom hugs my 5 year old sister, but when I run to hug her…she immediately says, “Later, first do you work” huh!

—Play with me. I love to play with my friends, but playing with mom dad is fun! If only they had time to play….

—Tell me a story. I’d love to listen to their childhood tales, especially about their mistakes, failures and mischief. But my parents always keep telling about all their achievements. It makes me scared. What if I can’t achieve success the way they achieved….?

—Keep that WhatsApp aside. Talk to me mom & dad.

—Can I sleep in your bedroom at least once a month? I love cuddling you guys.

 

 

So parents, wondering what to gift your child this holiday season, here’s your list. Be present for your children and make parenting engaging and fulfilling.

 

BE PRESENT

 

 

Do something different, do something that you would always think of, do something that you have been waiting to do… Make this year stress free and a happier one… Happy new year

Time has no holiday.. Dreams have no expiry date.. And life has no pause button.
Live it.. Love it..

Enjoy each and every moment of your life….!!

Save only those memories which gives twinkle in your eyes… Not wrinkles on your face…!!