Flow – The secret to happiness

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“Contrary to what we usually believe, moments like these, the best moments in our lives, are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times—although such experiences can also be enjoyable, if we have worked hard to attain them. The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. ”

― Mihaly CsikszentmihalyiFlow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

 

Optimal experience is thus something that we make happen. For a child, it could be placing with trembling fingers the last block on a tower she has built, higher than any she has built so far; for a swimmer, it could be trying to beat his own record; for a violinist, mastering an intricate musical passage. For each person there are thousands of opportunities, challenges to expand ourselves.

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Let it Go ……

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When somebody told me that he has failed in his exams, my question is, “Is it a law that you will pass every time?”

When someone told me that my boyfriend broke up with me, my question is, “Is it a rule that you will have successful relationships everywhere?”

When somebody asked me why am I in depression, my question is, “Is it compulsory to have confidence all the time?”

When someone cried to me about his huge business loss due to his wrong decision, my question is, “Is it possible that you take all right decisions?”

The fact is our expectation that life has to be perfect/permanent is the biggest reason of our unhappiness.

One has to understand the law of impermanence of nature.

After each sunny day, there has to be a dark night, after each birth there have to be certain deaths, for the full moon to come again it has to pass through no moon. In this imperfection of nature, there is perfection.

So stop taking your failures and bad part of your life soooo personally or intensely, even the divine energy does not like to give you pain but its the cycle through which you have to pass. Prepare yourself for one more fight after each fall because even failures cannot be permanent…!

Enjoy life…. 👍😊☺

Your breath comes to go.
Your thoughts come to go.
Your words come to go.
Your actions come to go.
Your feelings come to go.
Your illnesses come to go.
Your phases come to go.
Your seasons come to go.
You have come to go.

Then why do you hold on to your guilt, anger, un-forgiveness, hatred so so so tightly, when it too has come to go…

Let it go … 🌹🌹

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Good Habits & Discipline

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Please read this carefully and get your son or daughter to read it too.
This post is about what happened in a typical middle-class household.
The son didn’t like living in his father’s house. This was because of his father’s constant ‘nagging’;
“You are leaving the room without switching off the fan”
“The TV is on in the room where there is no one. Switch it off!”
“Keep the pen in the stand; it is fallen down”

The son didn’t like his father nagging him for these minor things.
He had to tolerate these things till yesterday since he was with them in the same house.

But today, however, he had an invitation for a job interview.
“As soon as I get the job, I should leave this town. There won’t be any nagging from my father” were his thoughts.

As he was about to leave for the interview, the father advised:
“Answer the questions put to you without any hesitation. Even if you don’t know the answer, mention that confidently.” His gave him more money than he actually needed to attend the interview.

The son arrived at the interview centre.
He noticed that there were no security guards at the gate. Even though the door was open, the latch was protruding out probably hitting the people entering through the door. He put the latch back properly, closed the door and entered the office.

On both sides of the pathway he could see beautiful flower plants. The gardener had kept the water running in the hose-pipe and was not to be seen anywhere. The water was overflowing on the pathway. He lifted the hosepipe and placed it near one of the plants and went further.

There was no one in the reception area. However, there was a notice saying that the interview was on the first floor. He slowly climbed the stairs.

The light that was switched on last night was still burning at 10 am in the morning. He remembered his father’s admonition, “Why are you leaving the room without switching off the light?” and thought he could still hear that now. Even though he felt irritated by that thought, he sought the switch and switched off the light.

Upstairs in a large hall he could see many aspirants sitting waiting for their turn. He looked at the number of people and wondered if he had any chance of getting the job.

He entered the hall with some trepidation and stepped on the “Welcome” mat placed near the door. He noticed that the mat was upside down. He straightened out the mat with some irritation. Habits die hard.

He saw that in a few rows in the front there were many people waiting for their turn, whereas the back rows were empty, but a number of fans were running over those rows of seats.
He heard his father’s voice again, “Why are the fans running in the room where there is no one?” He switched off the fans that were not needed and sat at one of the empty chairs.
He could see many men entering the interview room and immediately leave from another door. There was thus no way anyone could guess what was being asked in the interview.

When it was his turn, He went and stood before the interviewer with some trepidation and concern.

The officer took the certificates from him and without looking at them asked, “When can you start work?”

He thought ,”is this a trick question being asked in the interview, or is this a signal that I have been offered the job?” He was confused.

“What are you thinking?” asked the boss. “We didn’t ask anyone any question here. By asking a few questions we won’t be able to assess the skills of anyone. So our test was to assess the attitude of the person. We kept certain tests based on the behaviour of the candidates and we observed everyone through CCTV. No one who came today did anything to set right the latch at the door, the hose pipe, the welcome mat, the uselessly running fans or lights. You were the only one who did that. That’s why we have decided to select you for the job”, said the boss.

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He always used to get irritated at his father’s discipline and demonstrations. Now he realized that it is only the discipline that has got him his job. His irritation and anger at his father vanished completely.
He decided that he would bring his father too to his workplace and left for home happily.

Whatever our father tells us is only for our good aimed at giving us a bright future!

A rock doesn’t become a beautiful sculpture if it resists the pain of the chisel chipping it away.

For us to become a beautiful sculpture and a human being we need to accept admonitions that chisel out the bad habits and behaviour from ourselves. That is what our father does when he disciplines us.

The mother lifts the child up on her waist to feed her, to cuddle her, and to put her to sleep. But the father is not like that. He lifts the child up on his shoulders to make him see the world that he couldn’t see.
We can realize the pain the mother undergoes by listening to her; but the father’s pain can be realized only when others tell us about it.

Our father is our teacher when we are five years old; a terrible villain when we are about twenty, and a guidepost as long as he lives…

Mothers can go to her daughter’s or son’s home when she’s old; but the father doesn’t know how to do that…

There is no use in hurting our parents when they are alive and remembering about them when they have passed away. Treat them well always.
This is an example of mentorship.

*PLEASE! Share with parents & children.
Good day

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Life is Not Fair on Anybody – Sri Krishna conversation with Karna

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In Mahabharat, #Karna asks Lord #Krishna – “My mother left me the moment I was born. Is it my fault I was born an illegitimate child?

I did not get the education from Dhronacharya because I was considered a non-Kshatriya.

Parshu-Raam taught me but then gave me the curse to forget everything since I was a Kshatriya.

A cow was accidentally hit by my arrow & its owner cursed me for no fault of mine.

I was disgraced in Draupadi’s swayamvar.

Even Kunti finally told me the truth only to save her other sons.

Whatever I received was through Duryodhana’s charity.

So how am I wrong in taking his side?”

Lord Krishna replies,
“Karna, I was born in a jail.

Death was waiting for me even before my birth.

The night I was born I was separated from my birth parents.

From childhood, you grew up hearing the noise of swords, chariots, horses, bow, and arrows. I got only cow herd’s shed, dung, and multiple attempts on my life even before I could walk!

No army, no education. I could hear people saying I am the reason for all their problems.

When all of you were being appreciated for your valour by your teachers I had not even received any education. I joined gurukula of Rishi Sandipani only at the age of 16!

You are married to a girl of your choice. I didn’t get the girl I loved & rather ended up marrying those who wanted me or the ones I rescued from demons.

I had to move my whole community from the banks of Yamuna to far off Sea shore to save them from Jarasandh. I was called a coward for running away!!

If Duryodhana wins the war you will get a lot of credit. What do I get if Dharmaraja wins the war? Only the blame for the war and all related problems…

Remember one thing, Karna. Everybody has challenges in life.

LIFE IS NOT FAIR ON ANYBODY!!!

Duryodhana also has a lot of unfairness in life and so has Yudhhishthir.

But what is Right (Dharma) is known to your mind (conscience). No matter how much unfairness we got, how many times we were disgraced, how many times we were denied what was due to us, what is important is how you REACTED at that time.

Stop whining Karna. Life’s unfairness does not give you license to walk the wrong path…

Always remember, Life may be tough at a point, but DESTINY is not created by the SHOES we wear but by the STEPS we take… 🙂 🙂

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Key Takeaway :

What Krishna really meant to make Karna understand was –

Life wasn’t fair to anyone. In fact, it can never be because in this human form all of us were here to learn certain lessons and it was important that we did.

He explained just because life has been unfair to you and a certain person has been good to you, who is essentially a threat to the entire society; you will, in the end, have to choose your conscience above the person.

It is the right dharma. It is the only way.

The fact of the matter is, whether be Karna or Krishna, they were essentially here expressing themselves in a human form. This world is a stage and we are all mere characters fulfilling the destiny of the biggest play of all time we call Life. Universe has a way of manifesting things and we are all in alignment with our soul path.

Those who realize and align themselves with their path are freed from the Karmic bondage those who don’t, they come back again to complete the lesson and knowledge that is still unavailable or partially available to them.

The dialogue between Krishna and Karna is a classic example of understanding the difference between ignorance and awareness. Sulking in self-pity has never given any solution. However, when you stand up many times to hold yourself erect and speak your truth, you release yourself from all the unnecessary drama.

Life is a lesson and one should accept all they are to experience.